I woke up today like a kid on Christmas morning, eagerly checking the training calendar to see if I’d been scheduled to teach. And I squealed just like a child when I saw I was on the roster: As of 10 p.m. tomorrow, I’ll have made the transition from trainee to teacher!!!
Well, technically I’ll still be a trainee, but a trainee who has TAUGHT, to a CLASS. An entire roomful of people are going to listen to what comes out of my mouth and hopefully have some amazing personal experiences as a result.
It’s very tempting to want to take responsibility for my students, to think that if I do my job well, they will be happy. But not only is it not possible for me to make anyone else happy, thinking I have that sort of control puts a lot of pressure on me that I really don’t need.
My job is to speak my truth; to share an opportunity for transformation. The way I do that is to issue clear and safe instructions, and to invite students to let go of what they can and to comfortably explore their bodies. Beyond being honest and expressing myself with care, there is not much I can do.
I have done my homework. I have rehearsed my lines. I have talked to myself aloud so much that it’s starting to feel normal, that the people who cast me looks on the street are the crazy ones. I have settled into myself and faced my fears: I am afraid I will suck. I am afraid I will fail. I am afraid I am not good enough.
But I am! I am enough. It’s not always easy for me to believe this, but lately it’s been less of a challenge. The more I open my heart, the more I feel the universe supporting me; the more I realize that with a loving intent, it’s impossible for me to fail, that I could never suck.
Does that mean I’m not nervous as hell? No. I’m definitely nervous as hell. But I’m trusting in my foundation and excited and grateful for the opportunity to progress my education by beginning to professionally share it with others.
So please send some good energy my way if you read this before tomorrow night, and I’ll see you on the flip side!
Comments are closed.